s sorry because i didnt think he done it and he just rared back and laughed and he said： where do they find somebody like you？ have they got you in diapers yet？ i shot that son of a bitch right between the eyes and drug him back to his car by the hair of the head and set the car on fire and burned him to grease。
well。 these people can read you pretty good。 if i had of smacked him in the mouth that guard would not of said word one。 and he knew that。 he knew that。
i seen that county prosecutor in out of there and i knowed him just a little to talk to and we stopped and visited some。 i didnt tell him what had happened but he knew about me tryin to help that man and he might could of put two and two together。 i dont know。
he didnt ask me nothin about him。 didnt ask me what i was doin up there or nothin。
theres two kinds of people that dont ask a lot of questions。 one is too dumb to and the other dont need to。 ill leave it to you to guess which one i figure him to be。 he was just standin there in the hall with his briefcase。 like he had all the time in the world。 he told me that when he got out of law school he had been a defense attorney for a while。 he said it made his life too plicated。 he didnt want to spend the rest of his life bein lied to on a daily basis just as a matter of course。 i told him that a lawyer one time told me that in law school they try and teach you not to worry about right and wrong but just follow the law and i said i wasnt so sure about that。 he thought about that and he nodded and he said that he pretty much had to agree with that lawyer。 he said that if you dont follow the law right and wrong wont save you。 which i guess i can see the sense of but it dont change the way i think。 finally i asked him if he knew who mammon was。 and he said： mammon？
yes。 mammon。
you mean like in god and mammon？
yessir。
well； he said； i cant say as i do。 i know its in the bible。 is it the devil？
i dont know。 im goin to look it up。 i got a feelin i ought to know who it is。
he kindly smiled and he said： you sound like he might be getting ready to take up the spare bedroom。
well； i said； that would be one concern。 in any case i feel i need to familiarize myself with his habits。
he nodded。 kind of smiled。 then he did ask me a question。 he said： this mystery man you think killed that trooper and burned him up in his car。 what do you know about him？
i dont know nothin。 i wish i did。 or i think i wish it。
yeah。
hes pretty much a ghost。
is he pretty much or is he one？
no； hes out there。 i wish he wasnt。 but he is。
he nodded。 i guess if he was a ghost you wouldnt have to worry about him。
i said that was right； but ive thought about it since and i think the answer to his question is that when you encounter certain things in the world； the evidence for certain things； you realize that you have e upon somethin that you may very well not be equal to and i think that this is one of them things。 when youve said that its real and not just in your head im not all that sure what it is you have said。
loretta did say one thing。 she said somethin to the effect that it wasnt my fault and i said it was。 and i had thought about that too。 i told her that if you got a bad enough dog in your yard people will stay out of it。 and they didnt。
when he got home she wasnt there but her car was。 he walked out to the barn and her horse was gone。 he started to go back to the house but then he stopped and he thought about her maybe being hurt and he went to the tackroom and got his saddle down and carried it out into the bay and whistled at his horse and watched his head e up over the stall door down at the end of the barn with his ears scissoring。
he rode out with the reins in one hand； patting the horse。 he talked to the horse as he went。 feels good to be out； dont it。 you know where they went？ thats all right。 dont you worry about it。 well find em。
forty minutes later he saw her and stopped and sat the horse and watched。 she was riding along a red dirt ridge to the south sitting with her hands crossed on the pommel； looking toward the last of the sun； the horse slogging slowly through the loose sandy dirt； the red stain of it following them in the still air。 thats my heart yonder； he told the horse。 it always was。
they rode together out to warners well and dismounted and sat under the cottonwoods while the horses grazed。 doves ing in to the tanks。 late in the year。 we wont be seein them much longer。
she smiled。 late in the year； she said。
you hate it。
leavin here？
leavin here。
im all right。
because of me though； aint it？
she smiled。 well； she said； past a certain age i dont guess there is any such thing as good change。
i guess were in trouble then。
well be all right。 i think im goin to like havin you home for dinner。
i like bein home any time。
i remember when daddy retired mama told him： i said for better or for worse but i didnt say nothin about lunch。
bell smiled。 ill bet she wishes he could e home now。
ill bet she does too。 ill bet i do； for that matter。
i shouldnt ought to of said that。
you didnt say nothin wrong。
youd say that anyways。
thats my job。
bell smiled。 you wouldnt tell me if i was in the wrong？
nope。
what if i wanted you to？
tough。
he watched the little brindled desert doves e stooping in under the dull rose light。 is that true？ he said。
pretty much。 not altogether。
is that a good idea？
well； she said。 whatever it was i expect youd get it figured out with no help from me。
and if it was somethin we just disagreed about i reckon id get over it。
where i might not。
she smiled and put her hand on his。 put it up； she said。 its nice just to be here。
yes mam。 it is indeed。
。。。！
No Country for Old MenXII
小！说
ill wake loretta up just bein awake myself。 be layin there and shell say my name。 like askin me if im there。 sometimes ill go in the kitchen and get her a ginger ale and well set there in the dark。 i wish i had her ease about things。 the world ive seen has not made me a spiritual person。 not like her。 she worries about me； too。 i see it。 i reckon i thought that because i was older and the man that she would learn from me and in many respects she has。 but i know where the debt lies。
i think i know where were headed。 were bein bought with our own money。 and it aint just the drugs。 there is fortunes bein accumulated out there that they dont nobody even know about。 what do we think is goin to e of that money？ money that can buy whole countries。 it done has。 can it buy this one？ i dont think so。 but it will put you in bed with people you ought not to be there with。 its not even a law enforcement problem。
i doubt that it ever was。 theres always been narcotics。 but people dont just up and decide to dope theirselves for no reason。 by the millions。 i dont have no answer about that。 in particular i dont have no answer to take heart from。 i told a reporter here a while back — young girl； seemed nice enough。 she was just tryin to be a reporter。 she said： sheriff how e you to let crime get so out of hand in your county？ sounded like a fair question i reckon。 maybe it was a fair question。 anyway i told her； i said： it starts when you begin to overlook bad manners。 any time you quit hearin sir and mam the end is pretty much in sight。 i told her； i said： it reaches into ever strata。 youve heard about that aint you？ ever strata？ you finally get into the sort of breakdown in mercantile ethics that leaves people settin around out in the desert dead in their vehicles and by then its just too late。
she give me kindly a funny look。 so the last thing i told her； and maybe i shouldnt of said it； i told her that you cant have a dope business without dopers。 a lot of em are well dressed and holdin down goodpayin jobs too。 i said： you might even know some yourself the other thing is the old people； and i keep in back to them。 they look at me its always a question。 years back i dont remember that。 i dont remember it when i was sheriff back in the fifties。 you see em and they dont even look confused。 they just look crazy。 that bothers me。 its like they woke up and they dont know how they got where theyre at。 well； in a manner of speakin they dont。
at supper this evenin she told me shed been readin st john。 the revelations。 any time i get to talkin about how things are shell find somethin in the bible so i asked her if revelations had anything to say about the shape things was takin and she said shed let me know。 i asked her if there was anything in there about green hair and nosebones and she said not in so many words there wasnt。 i dont know if thats a good sign or not。
then she e around behind my chair and put her arms around my neck and bit me on the ear。 shes a very young woman in a lot of ways。 if i didnt have her i dont know what i would have。 well； yes i do。 you wouldnt need a box to put it in； neither。
it was a cold blustery day when he walked out of the courthouse for the last time。 some men could put their arms around a crying woman but it never felt natural to him。 he walked down the steps and out the back door