No Country for Old Men- 第38部分

bell　sat　watching　him。　then　he　got　up　and　put　on　his　hat　and　left。

in　the　morning　he　went　to　the　high　school　and　got　some　names　from　demarcos　teacher。

the　first　one　he　talked　to　wanted　to　know　how　hed　found　him。　he　was　a　big　kid　and　he　　sat　with　his　hands　folded　and　looked　down　at　his　tennis　shoes。　they　were　about　a　size　　fourteen　and　had　left　and　right　written　on　the　toecaps　in　purple　ink。

theres　somethin　you　all　aint　tellin　me。

the　boy　shook　his　head。

did　he　threaten　you？

naw。

what　did　he　look　like？　was　he　mexican？

i　dont　think　so。　he　was　kindly　dark　plected　is　all。

were　you　afraid　of　him？

i　wasnt　till　you　showed　up。　hell；　sheriff；　i　knew　we　shouldnt　of　took　the　damn　thing。　it　　was　a　dumb…ass　thing　to　do。　i　aint　goin　to　set　here　and　say　it　was　davids　idea　even　if　it　　was。　im　big　enough　to　say　no。

yes　you　are。

it　was　all　just　weird。　them　boys　in　the　car　was　dead。　am　i　in　trouble　over　this？

what　else　did　he　say　to　you。

the　boy　looked　around　the　lunchroom。　he　looked　almost　in　tears。　if　i　had　it　to　do　over　　again　id　do　it　different。　i　know　that。

what　did　he　say。

he　said　that　we　didnt　know　what　he　looked　like。　he　give　david　a　hundred　dollar　bill。

a　hundred　dollars。

yeah。　david　give　him　his　shirt。　to　make　a　sling　for　his　arm。

bell　nodded。　all　right。　what　did　he　look　like。

he　was　medium　height。　medium　build。　looked　like　he　was　in　shape。　in　his　mid　thirties　　maybe。　dark　hair。　dark　brown；　i　think。　i　dont　know；　sheriff。　he　looked　like　anybody。

like　anybody。

the　kid　looked　at　his　shoes。　he　looked　up　at　bell。　he　didnt　look　like　anybody。　i　mean　　there　wasnt　nothin　unusual　lookin　about　him。　but　he　didnt　look　like　anybody　youd　want　　to　mess　with。　when　he　said　somethin　you　damn　sure　listened。　there　was　a　bone　stickin　　out　under　the　skin　on　his　arm　and　he　didnt　pay　no　more　attention　to　it　than　nothin。

all　right。

am　i　in　trouble　over　this？

no。

i　appreciate　it。

you　dont　know　where　things　will　take　you；　do　you？

no　sir；　you　dont。　i　think　i　learned　somethin　from　it。　if　thats　any　use　to　you。

it　is。　do　you　think　demarco　learned　anything？

the　boy　shook　his　head。　i　dont　know；　he　said。　i　cant　speak　for　david。

。d　　。



No　Country　for　Old　MenXI

　　
i　got　molly　to　run　down　his　relatives　and　we　finally　found　his　dad　in　san　saba。　i　left　to　　go　up　there　on　a　friday　evenin　and　i　remember　thinkin　to　myself　when　i　left　that　this　　was　probably　another　dumb　thing　i　was　fixin　to　do　but　i　went　anyways。　id　done　talked　　to　him　on　the　phone。　he　didnt　sound　like　he　was　waitin　to　see　me　or　he　wasnt　waitin　but　　he　said　to　e　on　so　here　i　went。　checked　in　a　motel　when　i　got　there　and　drove　out　to　　his　house　in　the　mornin。

his　wife　had　died　some　years　back。　we　set　out　on　the　porch　and　drunk　iced　tea　and　i　　guess　wed　of　set　there　from　now　on　if　i　hadnt　of　said　somethin。　he　was　a　bit　oldern　me。

ten　years　maybe。　i　told　him　what　id　e　to　tell　him。　about　his　boy。　told　him　the　facts。

he　just　set　there　and　nodded。　he　was　settin　in　a　swing　and　he　just　rocked　back　and　forth　　a　little　and　held　that　glass　of　tea　in　his　lap。　i　didnt　know　what　else　to　say　so　i　just　shut　　up　and　we　set　there　for　quite　some　time。　and　then　he　said；　and　he　didnt　look　at　me；　he　　just　looked　out　across　the　yard；　and　he　said：　he　was　the　best　rifleshot　i　ever　saw。　bar　　none。　i　didnt　know　what　to　say。　i　said：　yessir。

he　was　a　sniper　in　vietnam　you　know。

i　said　i　didnt　know　that。

he　was　not　in　no　drug　deals。

no　sir。　he　was　not。

he　nodded。　he　wasnt　raised　that　way；　he　said。

yessir。

was　you　in　the　war？

yes　i　was。　european　theatre。

he　nodded。　llewelyn　when　he　e　home　he　went　to　visit　several　families　of　buddies　of　　his　that　had　not　made　it　back。　he　give　it　up。　he　didnt　know　what　to　say　to　em。　he　said　　he　could　see　em　settin　there　lookin　at　him　and　wishin　he　was　dead。　you　could　see　it　in　　their　faces。　in　the　place　of　their　own　loved　one；　you　understand。

yessir。　i　can　understand　that。

i　can　too。　but　aside　from　that　theyd　all　done　things　over　there　that　theyd　just　as　soon　　left　over　there。　we　didnt　have　nothin　like　that　in　the　war。　or　very　little　of　it。　he　smacked　　the　tar　out　of　one　or　two　of　them　hippies。　spittin　on　him。　callin　him　a　babykiller。　a　lot　　of　them　boys　that　e　back；　theyre　still　havin　problems。　i　thought　it　was　because　they　　didnt　have　the　country　behind　em。　but　i　think　it　might　be　worse　than　that　even。　the　　country　they　did　have　was　in　pieces。　it　still　is。　it　wasnt　the　hippies　fault。　it　wasnt　the　　fault　of　them　boys　that　got　sent　over　there　neither。　eighteen；　nineteen　year　old。

he　turned　and　looked　at　me。　and　then　i　thought　he　looked　a　lot　older。　his　eyes　looked　　old。　he　said：　people　will　tell　you　it　was　vietnam　brought　this　country　to　its　knees。　but　i　　never　believed　that。　it　was　already　in　bad　shape。　vietnam　was　just　the　icin　on　the　cake。

we　didnt　have　nothin　to　give　to　em　to　take　over　there。　if　wed　sent　em　without　rifles　i　　dont　know　as　theyd　of　been　all　that　much　worse　off。　you　cant　go　to　war　like　that。　you　　cant　go　to　war　without　god。　i　dont　know　what　is　goin　to　happen　when　the　next　one　　es。　i　surely　dont。

and　that　was　pretty　much　all　that　was　said。　i　thanked　him　for　his　time。　the　next　day　was　　goin　to　be　my　last　day　in　the　office　and　i　had　a　good　deal　to　think　about。　i　drove　back　to　　i…10　along　the　back　roads。　drove　down　to　cherokee　and　took　501。　i　tried　to　put　things　　in　perspective　but　sometimes　youre　just　too　close　to　it。　its　a　lifes　work　to　see　yourself　　for　what　you　really　are　and　even　then　you　might　be　wrong。　and　that　is　somethin　i　dont　　want　to　be　wrong　about。　ive　thought　about　why　it　was　i　wanted　to　be　a　lawman。　there　　was　always　some　part　of　me　that　wanted　to　be　in　charge。　pretty　much　insisted　on　it。

wanted　people　to　listen　to　what　i　had　to　say。　but　there　was　apart　of　me　too　that　just　　wanted　to　pull　everbody　back　in　the　boat。　if　ive　tried　to　cultivate　anything　its　been　that。

i　think　we　are　all　of　us　ill　prepared　for　what　is　to　e　and　i　dont　care　what　shape　it　　takes。　and　whatever　es　my　guess　is　that　it　will　have　small　power　to　sustain　us。　these　　old　people　i　talk　to；　if　you　could　of　told　em　that　there　would　be　people　on　the　streets　of　　our　texas　towns　with　green　hair　and　bones　in　their　noses　speakin　a　language　they　　couldnt　even　understand；　well；　they　just　flat　out　wouldnt　of　believed　you。　but　what　if　　youd　of　told　em　it　was　their　own　grandchildren？　well；　all　of　that　is　signs　and　wonders　　but　it　dont　tell　you　how　it　got　that　way。　and　it　dont　tell　you　nothin　about　how　its　fixin　to　　get；　neither。　part　of　it　was　i　always　thought　i　could　at　least　someway　put　things　right　　and　i　guess　i　just　dont　feel　that　way　no　more。　i　dont　know　what　i　do　feel　like。　i　feel　like　　them　old　people　i　was　talkin　about。　which　aint　goin　to　get　better　neither。　im　bein　asked　　to　stand　for　somethin　that　i　dont　have　the　same　belief　in　it　i　once　did。　asked　to　believe　in　　somethin　i　might　not　hold　with　the　way　i　once　did。　thats　the　problem。　i　failed　at　it　even　　when　i　did。　now　ive　seen　it　held　to　the　light。　seen　any　number　of　believers　fall　away。

ive　been　forced　to　look　at　it　again　and　ive　been　forced　to　look　at　myself。　for　better　or　　for　worse　i　do　not　know。　i　dont　know　that　i　would　even　advise　you　to　throw　in　with　me；　　and　i　never　had　them　sorts　of　doubts　before。　if　im　wiser　in　the　ways　of　the　world　it　　e　at　a　price。　pretty　good　price　too。　when　i　told　her　i　was　quittin　she　at　first　didnt　　take　me　to　mean　it　literally　but　i　told　her　i　did　so　mean　it。　i　told　her　i　hoped　the　people　　of　this　county　would　have　better　sense　than　to　even　vote　for　me。　i　told　her　i　didnt　feel　　right　takin　their　money。　she　said　well　you　dont　mean　that　and　i　told　her　i　meant　it　ever　　word。　were　six　thousand　dollars　in　debt　over　this　job　too　and　i　dont　know　what　im　　goin　to　do　about　that　either。　well　we　just　set　there　for　a　time。　i　didnt　think　it　would　upset　　her　like　it　done。　finally　i　just　said：　loretta；　i　cant　do　it　no　more。　and　she　smiled　and　　she　said：　you　aim　to　quit　while　youre　ahead？　and　i　said　no　mam　i　just　aim　to　quit。　i　　aint　ahead　by　a　damn　sight。　i　never　will　be。　one　other　thing　and　then　ill　shut　up。　i　　would　just　as　soon　that　it　hadnt　of　got　told　but　they　put　it　in　the　papers。　i　went　up　to　　ozona　and　talked　to　the　district　attorney　up　there　and　they　said　i　could　talk　to　that　　mexicans　lawyer　if　i　wanted　and　maybe　testify　at　the　trial　but　that　was　all　they　would　do。

meanin　that　they　wouldnt　do　nothin。　so　i　wound　up　doin　that　and　of　course　it　didnt　　e　to　nothin　and　the　old　boy　got　the　death　penalty。　so　i　went　up　to　huntsville　to　see　　him　and　here　is　what　happened。　i　walked　in　there　and　set　down　and　he　of　course　knew　　who　i　was　as　he　had　seen　me　at　the　trial　and　all　and　he　said：　what　did　you　bring　me？

and　i　said　i　didnt　bring　him　nothin　and　he　said　well　he　thought　i　must　of　brung　him　　somethin。　some　candy　or　somethin。　said　he　figured　i　was　sweet　on　him。　i　looked　at　the　　guard　and　the　guard　looked　away。　i　looked　at　this　man。　mexican；　maybe　thirty…five；　　forty　year　old。　spoke　good　english。　i　said　to　him　that　i　didnt　e　up　there　to　be　　insulted　but　i　just　wanted　him　to　know　that　i　done　the　best　i　could　for　him　and　that　i　was　　sorry　because　i　didnt　think　he　done　it　and　he　just　rared　back　a