No Country for Old Men- 第35部分

all　right。

you　wouldnt　ask　me　now　though；　would　you？

maybe　not。

you　wouldnt。

he　sipped　the　rank　black　coffee。

you　ever　think　about　harold？　bell　said。

harold？

yes。

not　much。　he　was　some　older　than　me。　he　was　born　in　ninety…nine。　pretty　sure　thats　　right。　what　made　you　think　about　harold？

i　was　readin　some　of　your　mothers　letters　to　him；　thats　all。　i　just　wondered　what　you　　remembered　about　him。

was　they　any　letters　from　him？

no。

you　think　about　your　family。　try　to　make　sense　out　of　all　that。　i　know　what　it　did　to　my　　mother。　she　never　got　over　it。　i　dont　know　what　sense　any　of　that　makes　either。　you　　know　that　gospel　song？　well　understand　it　all　by　and　by？　that　takes　a　lot　of　faith。　you　　think　about　him　goin　over　there　and　dyin　in　a　ditch　somewheres。　seventeen　year　old。

you　tell　me。　because　i　damn　sure　dont　know。

i　hear　you。　did　you　want　to　go　somewheres？

i　dont　need　nobody　haulin　me　around。　i　aim　to　just　set　right　here。　im　fine；　ed　tom。

it　aint　no　trouble。

i　know　it。

all　right。

bell　watched　him。　the　old　man　stubbed　out　his　cigarette　in　the　lid。　bell　tried　to　think　　about　his　life。　then　he　tried　not　to。　you　aint　turned　infidel　have　you　uncle　ellis？

no。　no。　nothin　like　that。

do　you　think　god　knows　whats　happenin？

i　expect　he　does。

you　think　he　can　stop　it？

no。　i　dont。

they　sat　quietly　at　the　table。　after　a　while　the　old　man　said：　she　mentioned　there　was　a　　lot　of　old　pictures　and　family　stuff。　what　to　do　about　that。　well。　there　aint　nothin　to　do　　about　it　i　dont　reckon。　is　there？

no。　i　dont　reckon　there　is。

i　told　her　to　send　uncle　macs　old　cinco　peso　badge　and　his　thumb…buster　to　the　rangers。

i　believe　they　got　a　museum。　but　i　didnt　know　what　to　tell　her。　theres　all　that　stuff　here。

in　the　chifforobe　in　yonder。　that　rolltop　desk　is　full　of　papers。　he　tilted　the　cup　and　　looked　into　the　bottom　of　it。

he　never　rode　with　coffee　jack。　uncle　mac。　thats　all　bull。　i　dont　know　who　started　　that。　he　was　shot　down　on　his　own　porch　in　hudspeth　county。

thats　what　i　always　heard。

they　was　seven　or　eight　of　em　e　to　the　house。　wantin　this　and　wantin　that。　he　went　　back　in　the　house　and　e　out　with　a　shotgun　but　they　was　way　ahead　of　him　and　they　　shot　him　down　in　his　own　doorway。　she　run　out　and　tried　to　stop　the　bleedin。　tried　to　　get　him　back　in　the　house。　said　he　kept　tryin　to　get　hold　of　the　shotgun　again。　they　just　　set　there　on　their　horses。　finally　left。　i　dont　know　why。　somethin　scared　em；　i　reckon。

one　of　em　said　somethin　in　injun　and　they　all　turned　and　left　out。　they　never　e　in　　the　house　or　nothin。　she　got　him　inside　but　he　was　a　big　man　and　they　was　no　way　she　　could　of　got　him　up　in　the　bed。　she　fixed　a　pallet　on　the　floor。　wasnt　nothin　to　be　done。

she　always　said　she　should　of　just　left　him　there　and　rode　for　help　but　i　dont　know　　where　it　was　she　would　of　rode　to。　he　wouldnt　of　let　her　go　noway。　wouldnt　hardly　let　　her　go　in　the　kitchen。　he　knew　what　the　score　was　if　she　didnt。　he　was　shot　through　the　　right　lung。　and　that　was　that。　as　they　say。

when　did　he　die？

eighteen　and　seventy…nine。

no；　i　mean　was　it　right　away　or　in　the　night　or　when　was　it。

i　believe　it　was　that　night。　or　early　of　the　mornin。　she　buried　him　herself。　diggin　in　that　　hard　caliche。　then　she　just　packed　the　wagon　and　hitched　the　horses　and　pulled　out　of　　there　and　she　never　did　go　back。　that　house　burned　down　sometime　back　in　the　　twenties。　what　hadnt　fell　down。　i　could　take　you　to　it　today。　the　rock　chimney　used　to　　be　standin　and　it　may　be　yet。　there　was　a　good　bit　of　land　proved　up　on。　eight　or　ten　　sections　if　i　remember。　she　couldnt　pay　the　taxes　on　it；　little　as　they　was。　couldnt　sell　it。

did　you　remember　her？

no。　i　seen　a　photograph　of　me　and　her　when　i　was　about　four。　shes　settin　in　a　rocker　on　　the　porch　of　this　house　and　im　standin　alongside　of　her。　i　wish　i　could　say　i　remember　　her　but　i　dont。

she　never　did　remarry。　later　years　she　was　a　schoolteacher。　san　angelo。　this　country　　was　hard　on　people。　but　they　never　seemed　to　hold　it　to　account。　in　a　way　that　seems　　peculiar。　that　they　didnt。　you　think　about　what　all　has　happened　to　just　this　one　family。

i　dont　know　what　im　doin　here　still　knockin　around。　all　them　young　people。　we　dont　　know　where　half　of　em　is　even　buried　at。　you　got　to　ask　what　was　the　good　in　all　that。

so　i　go　back　to　that。　how　e　people　dont　feel　like　this　country　has　got　a　lot　to　answer　　for？　they　dont。　you　can　say　that　the　country　is　just　the　country；　it　dont　actively　do　　nothin；　but　that　dont　mean　much。　i　seen　a　man　shoot　his　pickup　truck　with　a　shotgun　　one　time。　he　must　of　thought　it　done　somethin。　this　country　will　kill　you　in　a　heartbeat　　and　still　people　love　it。　you　understand　what　im　sayin？

i　think　i　do。　do　you　love　it？

i　guess　you　could　say　i　do。　but　id　be　the　first　one　to　tell　you　im　as　ignorant　as　a　box　of　　rocks　so　you　sure　dont　want　to　go　by　nothin　id　say。

bell　smiled。　he　got　up　and　went　to　the　sink。　the　old　man　turned　the　chair　slightly　to　　where　he　could　see　him。　what　are　you　doin？　he　said。

i　thought　id　just　wash　these　here　dishes。

hell；　leave　em；　ed　tom。　lupell　be　here　in　the　mornin。

it　wont　take　but　a　minute。

the　water　from　the　tap　was　gypwater。　he　filled　the　sink　and　added　a　scoop　of　soap　　powder。　then　he　added　another。

i　thought　you　used　to　have　a　television　set　in　here。

i　used　to　have　a　lot　of　things。

why　didnt　you　say　somethin？　ill　get　you　one。

i　dont　need　one。

keep　you　pany　some。

it　didnt　quit　on　me。　i　throwed　it　out。

you　dont　never　watch　the　news？

no。　do　you？

not　much。

he　rinsed　the　dishes　and　left　them　to　drain　and　stood　looking　out　the　window　at　the　little　　weedgrown　yard。　a　weathered　smokehouse。　an　aluminum　two　horse　trailer　on　blocks。

you　used　to　have　chickens；　he　said。

yep；　the　old　man　said。

bell　dried　his　hands　and　came　back　to　the　table　and　sat。　he　looked　at　his　uncle。　did　you　　ever　do　anything　you　was　ashamed　of　to　the　point　where　you　never　would　tell　nobody？

his　uncle　thought　about　that。　id　say　i　have；　he　said。　id　say　about　anybody　has。　what　is　　it　youve　found　out　about　me？

im　serious。

all　right。

i　mean　somethin　bad。

how　bad。

i　dont　know。　where　it　stuck　with　you。

like　somethin　you　could　go　to　jail　for？

well；　it　could　be　somethin　like　that　i　reckon。　it　wouldnt　have　to　be。

id　have　to　think　about　that。

no　you　wouldnt。

whats　got　into　you？　i　aint　goin　to　invite　you　out　here　no　more。

you　didnt　invite　me　this　time。

well。　thats　true。

bell　sat　with　his　elbows　on　the　table　and　his　hands　folded　together。　his　uncle　watched　　him。　i　hope　you　aint　fixin　to　make　some　terrible　confession；　he　said。　i　might　not　want　to　　hear　it。

do　you　want　to　hear　it？

yeah。　go　ahead。

all　right。

it　aint　of　a　sexual　nature　is　it？

no。

thats　all　right。　go　ahead　and　tell　it　anyways。

its　about　bein　a　war　hero。

all　right。　would　that　be　you？

yeah。　thatd　be　me。

go　ahead。

im　tryin　to。　this　is　actually　what　happened。　what　got　me　that　mendation。

go　ahead。

we　was　in　a　forward　position　monitorin　radio　signals　and　we　was　holed　up　in　a　　farmhouse。　just　a　two　room　stone　house。　wed　been　there　two　days　and　it　never　did　quit　　rainin。　rained　like　all　get…out。　somewhere　about　the　middle　of　the　second　day　the　radio　　operator　had　took　his　headset　off　and　he　said：　listen。　well；　we　did。　when　somebody　　said　listen　you　listened。　and　we　didnt　hear　nothin。　and　i　said：　what　is　it？　and　he　said：　　nothin。

i　said　what　the　hell　are　you　talkin　about；　nothin？　what　did　you　hear？　and　he　said：　i　　mean　you　cant　hear　nothin。　listen。　and　he　was　right。　there　was　not　a　sound　nowheres。

no　field…piece　or　nothin。　all　you　could　hear　was　the　rain。　and　that　was　about　the　last　　thing　i　remember。　when　i　woke　up　i　was　layin　outside　in　the　rain　and　i　dont　know　how　　long　id　been　layin　there。　i　was　wet　and　cold　and　my　ears　was　ringin　and　whenever　i　set　　up　and　looked　the　house　was　gone。　just　part　of　the　wall　at　one　end　was　standin　was　all。

a　mortarshell　had　e　through　the　wall　and　just　blowed　it　all　to　hell。　well；　i　couldnt　　hear　a　thing。　i　couldnt　hear　the　rain　or　nothin。　if　i　said　somethin　i　could　hear　it　inside　　my　head　but　that　was　all。　i　got　up　and　walked　over　to　where　the　house　was　and　there　　was　sections　of　the　roof　layin　over　a　good　part　of　it　and　i　seen　one　of　our　men　buried　in　　them　rocks　and　timbers　and　i　tried　to　move　some　stuff　to　see　if　i　couldnt　get　to　him。　my　　whole　head　just　felt　numb。　and　while　i　was　doin　that　i　raised　up　and　looked　out　and　　here　e　these　german　riflemen　across　this　field。　they　was　in　out　of　a　patch　of　　woods　about　two　hundred　yards　off　and　in　across　this　field。　i　still　didnt　know　　exactly　what　had　happened。　i　was　kindly　in　a　daze。　i　crouched　down　there　by　the　side　of　　the　wall　and　the　first　thing　i　seen　was　wallaces　。30　caliber　stickin　out　from　under　some　　timbers。　that　thing　was　aircooled　and　it　was　belt　fed　out　of　a　metal　box　and　i　figured　if　i　　let　em　run　up　a　little　more　on　me　i　could　operate　on　em　out　there　in　the　open　and　they　　wouldnt　call　in　another　round　cause　theyd　be　too　close。　i　scratched　around　and　finally　　got　that　thing　dug　out；　it　and　the　tripod；　and　i　dug　around　some　more　a