Jane Eyre- 第63部分

“yes；　so；　sir；”　i　rejoined：　“and　yet　not　so；　for　you　are　a　married　man—or　as　good　as　a　married　man；　and　wed　to　one　inferior　to　you—to　one　with　whom　you　have　no　sympathy—whom　i　do　not　believe　you　truly　love；　for　i　have　seen　and　heard　you　sneer　at　her。　i　would　scorn　such　a　union：　therefore　i　am　better　than　you—let　me　go！”

“where；　jane？　to　ireland？”

“yes—to　ireland。　i　have　spoken　my　mind；　and　can　go　anywhere　now。”

“jane；　be　still；　don’t　struggle　so；　like　a　wild　frantic　bird　that　is　rending　its　own　plumage　in　its　desperation。”

“i　am　no　bird；　and　no　net　ensnares　me；　i　am　a　free　human　being　with　an　independent　will；　which　i　now　exert　to　leave　you。”

another　effort　set　me　at　liberty；　and　i　stood　erect　before　him。

“and　your　will　shall　decide　your　destiny；”　he　said：　“i　offer　you　my　hand；　my　heart；　and　a　share　of　all　my　possessions。”

“you　play　a　farce；　which　i　merely　laugh　at。”

“i　ask　you　to　pass　through　life　at　my　side—to　be　my　second　self；　and　best　earthly　panion。”

“for　that　fate　you　have　already　made　your　choice；　and　must　abide　by　it。”

“jane；　be　still　a　few　moments：　you　are　over…excited：　i　will　be　still　too。”

a　waft　of　wind　came　sweeping　down　the　laurel…walk；　and　trembled　through　the　boughs　of　the　chestnut：　it　wandered　away—away—to　an　indefinite　distance—it　died。　the　nightingale’s　song　was　then　the　only　voice　of　the　hour：　in　listening　to　it；　i　again　wept。　mr。　rochester　sat　quiet；　looking　at　me　gently　and　seriously。　some　time　passed　before　he　spoke；　he　at　last　said—

“e　to　my　side；　jane；　and　let　us　explain　and　understand　one　another。”

“i　will　never　again　e　to　your　side：　i　am　torn　away　now；　and　cannot　return。”

“but；　jane；　i　summon　you　as　my　wife：　it　is　you　only　i　intend　to　marry。”

i　was　silent：　i　thought　he　mocked　me。

“e；　jane—e　hither。”

“your　bride　stands　between　us。”

he　rose；　and　with　a　stride　reached　me。

“my　bride　is　here；”　he　said；　again　drawing　me　to　him；　“because　my　equal　is　here；　and　my　likeness。　jane；　will　you　marry　me？”

still　i　did　not　answer；　and　still　i　writhed　myself　from　his　grasp：　for　i　was　still　incredulous。

“do　you　doubt　me；　jane？”

“entirely。”

“you　have　no　faith　in　me？”

“not　a　whit。”

“am　i　a　liar　in　your　eyes？”　he　asked　passionately。　“little　sceptic；　you　shall　be　convinced。　what　love　have　i　for　miss　ingram？　none：　and　that　you　know。　what　love　has　she　for　me？　none：　as　i　have　taken　pains　to　prove：　i　caused　a　rumour　to　reach　her　that　my　fortune　was　not　a　third　of　what　was　supposed；　and　after　that　i　presented　myself　to　see　the　result；　it　was　coldness　both　from　her　and　her　mother。　i　would　not—i　could　not—marry　miss　ingram。　you—　you　strange；　you　almost　unearthly　thing！—i　love　as　my　own　flesh。　you—poor　and　obscure；　and　small　and　plain　as　you　are—i　entreat　to　accept　me　as　a　husband。”

“what；　me！”　i　ejaculated；　beginning　in　his　earnestness—and　especially　in　his　incivility—to　credit　his　sincerity：　“me　who　have　not　a　friend　in　the　world　but　you…　if　you　are　my　friend：　not　a　shilling　but　what　you　have　given　me？”

“you；　jane；　i　must　have　you　for　my　own—entirely　my　own。　will　you　be　mine？　say　yes；　quickly。”

“mr。　rochester；　let　me　look　at　your　face：　turn　to　the　moonlight。”

“why？”

“because　i　want　to　read　your　countenance—turn！”

“there！　you　will　find　it　scarcely　more　legible　than　a　crumpled；　scratched　page。　read　on：　only　make　haste；　for　i　suffer。”

his　face　was　very　much　agitated　and　very　much　flushed；　and　there　were　strong　workings　in　the　features；　and　strange　gleams　in　the　eyes

“oh；　jane；　you　torture　me！”　he　exclaimed。　“with　that　searching　and　yet　faithful　and　generous　look；　you　torture　me！”

“how　can　i　do　that？　if　you　are　true；　and　your　offer　real；　my　only　feelings　to　you　must　be　gratitude　and　devotion—they　cannot　torture。”

“gratitude！”　he　ejaculated；　and　added　wildly—“jane　accept　me　quickly。　say；　edward—give　me　my　name—edward—i　will　marry　you。”

“are　you　in　earnest？　do　you　truly　love　me？　do　you　sincerely　wish　me　to　be　your　wife？”

“i　do；　and　if　an　oath　is　necessary　to　satisfy　you；　i　swear　it。”

“then；　sir；　i　will　marry　you。”

“edward—my　little　wife！”

“dear　edward！”

“e　to　me—e　to　me　entirely　now；”　said　he；　and　added；　in　his　deepest　tone；　speaking　in　my　ear　as　his　cheek　was　laid　on　mine；　“make　my　happiness—i　will　make　yours。”

“god　pardon　me！”　he　subjoined　ere　long；　“and　man　meddle　not　with　me：　i　have　her；　and　will　hold　her。”

“there　is　no　one　to　meddle；　sir。　i　have　no　kindred　to　interfere。”

“no—that　is　the　best　of　it；”　he　said。　and　if　i　had　loved　him　less　i　should　have　thought　his　accent　and　look　of　exultation　savage；　but；　sitting　by　him；　roused　from　the　nightmare　of　parting—called　to　the　paradise　of　union—i　thought　only　of　the　bliss　given　me　to　drink　in　so　abundant　a　flow。　again　and　again　he　said；　“are　you　happy；　jane？”　and　again　and　again　i　answered；　“yes。”　after　which　he　murmured；　“it　will　atone—it　will　atone。　have　i　not　found　her　friendless；　and　cold；　and　fortless？　will　i　not　guard；　and　cherish；　and　solace　her？　is　there　not　love　in　my　heart；　and　constancy　in　my　resolves？　it　will　expiate　at　god’s　tribunal。　i　know　my　maker　sanctions　what　i　do。　for　the　world’s　judgment—i　wash　my　hands　thereof。　for　man’s　opinion—i　defy　it。”

but　what　had　befallen　the　night？　the　moon　was　not　yet　set；　and　we　were　all　in　shadow：　i　could　scarcely　see　my　master’s　face；　near　as　i　was。　and　what　ailed　the　chestnut　tree？　it　writhed　and　groaned；　while　wind　roared　in　the　laurel　walk；　and　came　sweeping　over　us。

“we　must　go　in；”　said　mr。　rochester：　“the　weather　changes。　i　could　have　sat　with　thee　till　morning；　jane。”

“and　so；”　thought　i；　“could　i　with　you。”　i　should　have　said　so；　perhaps；　but　a　livid；　vivid　spark　leapt　out　of　a　cloud　at　which　i　was　looking；　and　there　was　a　crack；　a　crash；　and　a　close　rattling　peal；　and　i　thought　only　of　hiding　my　dazzled　eyes　against　mr。　rochester’s　shoulder。

the　rain　rushed　down。　he　hurried　me　up　the　walk；　through　the　grounds；　and　into　the　house；　but　we　were　quite　wet　before　we　could　pass　the　threshold。　he　was　taking　off　my　shawl　in　the　hall；　and　shaking　the　water　out　of　my　loosened　hair；　when　mrs。　fairfax　emerged　from　her　room。　i　did　not　observe　her　at　first；　nor　did　mr。　rochester。　the　lamp　was　lit。　the　clock　was　on　the　stroke　of　twelve。

“hasten　to　take　off　your　wet　things；”　said　he；　“and　before　you　go；　good…night—good…night；　my　darling！”

he　kissed　me　repeatedly。　when　i　looked　up；　on　leaving　his　arms；　there　stood　the　widow；　pale；　grave；　and　amazed。　i　only　smiled　at　her；　and　ran　upstairs。　“explanation　will　do　for　another　time；”　thought　i。　still；　when　i　reached　my　chamber；　i　felt　a　pang　at　the　idea　she　should　even　temporarily　misconstrue　what　she　had　seen。　but　joy　soon　effaced　every　other　feeling；　and　loud　as　the　wind　blew；　near　and　deep　as　the　thunder　crashed；　fierce　and　frequent　as　the　lightning　gleamed；　cataract…like　as　the　rain　fell　during　a　storm　of　two　hours’　duration；　i　experienced　no　fear　and　little　awe。　mr。　rochester　came　thrice　to　my　door　in　the　course　of　it；　to　ask　if　i　was　safe　and　tranquil：　and　that　was　fort；　that　was　strength　for　anything。

before　i　left　my　bed　in　the　morning；　little　adèle　came　running　in　to　tell　me　that　the　great　horse…chestnut　at　the　bottom　of　the　orchard　had　been　struck　by　lightning　in　the　night；　and　half　of　it　split　away。

　。。



Chapter　25

。小［说网｝
the　month　of　courtship　had　wasted：　its　very　last　hours　were　being　numbered。　there　was　no　putting　off　the　day　that　advanced—the　bridal　day；　and　all　preparations　for　its　arrival　were　plete。　i；　at　least；　had　nothing　more　to　do：　there　were　my　trunks；　packed；　locked；　corded；　ranged　in　a　row　along　the　wall　of　my　little　chamber；　to…morrow；　at　this　time；　they　would　be　far　on　their　road　to　london：　and　so　should　i　（d。v。）；—or　rather；　not　i；　but　one　jane　rochester；　a　person　whom　as　yet　i　knew　not。　the　cards　of　address　alone　remained　to　nail　on：　they　lay；　four　little　squares；　in　the　drawer。　mr。　rochester　had　himself　written　the　direction；　“mrs。　rochester；—　hotel；　london；”　on　each：　i　could　not　persuade　myself　to　affix　them；　or　to　have　them　affixed。　mrs。　rochester！　she　did　not　exist：　she　would　not　be　born　till　to…morrow；　some　time　after　eight　o’clock　a。m。；　and　i　would　wait　to　be　assured　she　had　e　into　the　world　alive　before　i　assigned　to　her　all　that　property。　it　was　enough　that　in　yonder　closet；　opposite　my　dressing…table；　garments　said　to　be　hers　had　already　displaced　my　black　stuff　lowood　frock　and　straw　bonnet：　for　not　to　me　appertained　that　suit　of　wedding　raiment；　the　pearl…coloured　robe；　the　vapoury　veil　pendent　from　the　usurped　portmanteau。　i　shut　the　closet　to　conceal　the　strange；　wraith…like　apparel　it　contained；　which；　at　this　evening　hour—nine　o’clock—　gave　out　certainly　a　most　ghostly　shimmer　through　the　shadow　of　my　apartment。　“i　will　leave　you　by　yourself；　white　dream；”　i　said。　“i　am　feverish：　i　hear　the　wind　blowing：　i　will　go　out　of　doors　and　feel　it。”

it　was　not　only　the　hurry　of　preparation　that　made　me　feverish；　not　only　the　anticipation　of　the　great　change—the　new　life　which　was　to　mence　to…morrow：　both　these　circumstances　had　their